Lucky I'm in Love with my Best friend

 Lucky I'm in love with my best friend. 

What a fabulous song. 

Lucky 

by: Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat

No I am not a fairy, I am real.

Today is the day I tell you who I really am and what I'm all about.

Yep... I'm gonna tell you everything.

The GOOD parts and the Real parts. I'm not calling it bad parts cause it really aint that bad. It's just life and it's real.

So here goes...Good parts first obviously haha

I'm a truly, naturally happy person. I love to love and I love people deeply. I'm fond of people and have spent many years trying to understand how different people react and work and that is why lots of people say that I'm good with people...LOl. I just understand them and always find a way to mold myself into how different people work and think. Perhaps that is why I am an actress. :)

I had an extremely hard time fitting in growing up and that is why I have no problem with myself now. I'm pretty content with who I am and that is why I very rarely get embarrassed by anything I do (however silly I may be). I believe I have been through some extremely horrifying events in my past and so it's kinda hard to feel any embarrassment after that haha.

I'm very much in love with my friends and family. I will do anything for them (see "real parts" for my 'But.."). Literally anything. The ones that know me best (all 3 of you haha) know that.

I work very hard to accomplish my goals. Everyday I get closer and closer to getting exactly what I want and that is probably why I'm also very happy all the time. I work very hard on what I think about and attract and bad stuff always finds a way of exiting my life...right on cue.

okokokok it ain't a fairy tale all the time but i'd say about 95% of the time it is because I don't dwell on the bad stuff long.

iight Real Parts. (I'm gangster also 95% of the time)

I'm no angel. I like to pretend I am but hey who doesn't?

I'm very passionate, I have very strong views and respect means a lot to me.  I exaggerate 95% of what I say :D It is kinda my own inside joke/humor and I always laugh at myself for that. People who know me well know I'm just silly like that :D.

I can be extremely outgoing and also a complete loner. 

When I get mad, I am a little too honest with people. Sometimes I really do go too far.

When people aren't grateful for things or disrespect me, I have a very hard time keeping my composure after a while and I get extremely upset.
It's definitely something I've been working on for a while cause really, you can't change anyone.

The problem I have is I care too much about people and so when I should cut them out of my life, because of how they treat me, I always find a way of letting them back in. Maybe because for me, instead of time healing my wounds, time just makes me forget why I was so hurt to begin with, and history always repeats itself. Eventually I remember and get upset again because people don't change.

But the problem isn't them. It's me. So their selfish or mean hearted or disrespectful or have treated me badly, that's just how THEY are. I can't change that. It's only hurting my heart more by bringing these people into my life and trying to help them and hope that one day they would see how they act.

The only person I can help is myself. You know how many times I have said that and not truly understood it till now.
I shouldn't be angry at them. I should feel sad for them. It must be so lonely to be out in the world and not understand why people don't understand you.
For that one trait, I am blessed.

I know who I am. I know that all I want to do is bring love to people. But maybe my focus shouldn't be on just people. Maybe my focus should be on people who want to accept my love and give it in return.

Alright so new goal.
I enjoy and attract only people who will accept my love and only show me love in return.

If your wondering why I speak in the present tense please view "The Secret". I live and breathe it every single day. (passionate)

ANYWAYS, I'm feeling really good about this new goal. You don't have to have drama in your life, you choose to have it in your life.

The wise words of someone that I have never met and have no idea of what his name is. :D

xoxo

You'll be in my heart

I've been very fortunate in the last while to be surrounded by such loving people. I went through a tough time in September and if it wasn't for the people I love, it would of been much harder to get through.

Recently, I've been dealing with some matters close to the heart. I have a friend that I truly love and care about, who wishes we were something more.
I tell ya, when you really care about someone, this is probably the hardest thing to go through.

I know most people would say that it is probably harder for him, but I do truly love and care for this guy and even though I could never see us together, it's been so hard to think that one day he may no longer be in my life.
Is that selfish? To want to be friends with someone you truly care about whom may want something more?
It seems that were always cool until other people get involved and spread their opinions. You can't possibly make a valid judgement unless you are actually apart of this relationship. It doesn't matter what people think or say, they don't understand how much we have been there for each other, and how we communicate, and even though we don't always see eye to eye, we eventually understand each other because we care about each other.

Things happened last night that I'm not sure if we'll ever be ok again. But for the record, your my best friend and no matter what, I will always be here for you and care about you like I have from day one. You have a heart of gold, and so much love to give, now please go spread it, cause the world needs more guys like you.

xox

True Colours

So I've been soo incredibly busy for the last while. Sometimes you get caught up in life that you forget to stop for a moment and just breathe, take it all in and most importantly, to feel grateful.

I'm one of those people that truly believes in that everything happens for a reason. What we focus on, we attract to our life and if people and things aren't in line with your goals and focus, then they start to leave your life.

I have these 10 "Focused thoughts" (I call them) that I well... focus on haha. My vision board hanging in my room, represents these thoughts and goals that I want.

I started this experiment in the beginning of August last year. It was amazing how fast things started to evolve in my life. How fast, people who weren't in line with what I wanted in life, left my life. By the end of December, I had accomplished half of those goals.
My vision board (I had made in January last year), I had almost accomplished all but one goal on my board by December. So of course, I am a big believer in what you focus on you get.

Anyways, so one of my focused thoughts was that, "I have found someone who loves and appreciates me. I'm surrounded by love".
It was like having someone pick weeds out of a garden. Suddenly anyone who didn't have the right intentions in my life or my best interests at heart, drifted from me. Those who didn't care about me or cared to understand me, became noticeable. Anyone who was a threat to me accomplishing my inner wants and goals, just left.
But then without the weeds left, it was spring time in my mind, as flowers began to bloom (haha). People who always loved me, were there for me. New people who wanted to love, listened and found a way. Only the most caring of souls became all that I was surrounded by and those who weren't in line with the happiness I was feeling,... did not like me thats for sure lol.

My point is, I've come a long way in the last couple of years and anyone thats travelled this crazy journey with me, knows that at the end of the day, the most important thing to me is my friends and family. I'm so grateful for having the opportunity to be surrounded by so many loving, true people. Most people hardly know one person like this in their lifetime. I, only attract these people now.
I feel blessed and loved everyday. Something that I always had a hard time feeling. Mostly because I wasn't surrounding myself with people that wanted me to feel this way.

If your having a tough time right now, try to do whatever you can to focus and attract only the things that will bring you love. Once you do, you'll feel a lightness and power to continue going after all of your dreams.

Here's a song I've been singing a lot lately. My favourite version is by Cyndi Lauper but Phil Collins did a good remake too :P

I know I'm a big dramatic cheese ball. But hey, I'm me. Love you Friends.
xox