So unfortunately I haven't been able to blog everyday due to my very busy school/work schedule but I think blogging my processes every couple of days makes more sense anyways as some days nothing really happens.
I've had a fabulous weekend. Sometimes with all the craziness that goes on in our lives, we forget about the people that make everything so simple and fun. The people that really bring out the kind of person you want to be and make you feel good.
Now I do think it is time to not need people to make yourself feel good, however this week was pretty tough and these guys reminded me of how easy friendships can be.
How loving someone should just be natural and you shouldn't have to go out of your way to please anyone. If you are...well theres a red flag telling you that you need to consider why your friendships are that way. What are you doing to allow people to have such influence on you? Why do you let yourself cater to please them?
Ah life is extraordinary isn't it?
I saw Lion King 3D last night and boy did I forget about Hakuna Matata.
STOP STRESSING you only live once!!!! Enjoy your life and appreciate the people you have in it! Sometimes your worry and things get hard, but that's life! How you deal with your worries and problems is what matters. You can choose to relax. You can choose to see bad in people or you can choose to see the good. You can take your anger out on people to make yourself feel good...but then what does that solve? Try to learn from your faults. You can't change unless you start to learn how to change. So why don't you try positively questioning yourself like, 'What can I do today that might motivate someone to change their life?'. 'What can I do today that will help move me in the direction of my dreams?' 'What can I do today that will help spread the love on this planet?'
Haha alright the last one is cheezy but my point is, if your trying to come up with solutions to these questions, your one step further then someone sitting around feeling bad for themselves when things get tough.
Be Proactive.
xox
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Learning from the most random of people: Day 22 -25
So Tuesday night I was really struggling with a problem. It had been bugging me for a while because it was something to do with my own self respect.
Anyways so Tuesday nights I have dinner with my dad (something we started to better our relationship haha)
So he was going on about something but I was really distracted by what was bugging me that I just had to speak up and decided to tell him.
Do you ever notice that sometimes the best advice comes from the weirdest of people? haha
Funny enough I learned that my dad is actually a lot like me when it comes to how we react to people and deal with issues.
We both have a hard time saying no to people because we both don't like to hurt anybody. Obviously, if you know my dad's history LOL and if you know mine, then it has a lot of rebounds and sometimes what we intend not to happen, ends up happening lol.
This isn't one of those cases though. In fact this is a case of me realizing I've been under treated and not knowing how to go about it.
One thing that he taught me is that no matter what decision I make, whatever I choose to do to handle a situation, I cannot feel guilty about it afterwards.
Theres no right or wrong way of handling things you can only do what's best for you. Plus, the choices you make, well they make sense to you right now. So in the future if you realize that, ok maybe I shouldn't of blocked this person out or maybe I shouldn't of raised my voice, theres no point feeling mad at yourself for it. Theres nothing you can do to change the choice you already made.
Excepting and moving forward has got to be your top priority.
A lot of people have had a hard time understanding me for that reason. For the reason that I forgive and move forward easily (Some people even take advantage of me because of it lol)
I do it mainly because once I fully understand a situation and fully understand how I feel, I don't focus on what he/she did anymore. I focus on 'What can I do now to better my life?' If people aren't willing to drop their egos and want to better themselves as well, then unfortunately a lot of the time, I leave them behind. I just don't have room in my brain for such negativity and sadness. When I'm surrounded by it, it hits me hard and therefore I do whatever I can to not put myself in situations that are negative.
I love to love not to hate. I'm not a fighter. I will fight for myself when I need to but otherwise I guess i figure that those that really love me, will come around and will know when they have under estimated me. But when they do under estimate me, I naturally block them out. One of my fav sayings that I live by is "Do unto others as you expect them to do unto you" Treat me with love and respect, and you will get it back. In fact you would probably get smothered in it. That's what gets me into stupid situations like the one I'm in now. Too much love.
But a lot of the time it's out of fear. Something I'm working on lol
Anyways I hope yall are having a fabulous week. Theres a light at the end of every tunnel. Sometimes it may be so faint and sometimes you may not even see it at all. What matters is that you keep believing it's there. Eventually you will find it.
xoxo
Ps. New MARY episode! Please watch! MUAH xo
Anyways so Tuesday nights I have dinner with my dad (something we started to better our relationship haha)
So he was going on about something but I was really distracted by what was bugging me that I just had to speak up and decided to tell him.
Do you ever notice that sometimes the best advice comes from the weirdest of people? haha
Funny enough I learned that my dad is actually a lot like me when it comes to how we react to people and deal with issues.
We both have a hard time saying no to people because we both don't like to hurt anybody. Obviously, if you know my dad's history LOL and if you know mine, then it has a lot of rebounds and sometimes what we intend not to happen, ends up happening lol.
This isn't one of those cases though. In fact this is a case of me realizing I've been under treated and not knowing how to go about it.
One thing that he taught me is that no matter what decision I make, whatever I choose to do to handle a situation, I cannot feel guilty about it afterwards.
Theres no right or wrong way of handling things you can only do what's best for you. Plus, the choices you make, well they make sense to you right now. So in the future if you realize that, ok maybe I shouldn't of blocked this person out or maybe I shouldn't of raised my voice, theres no point feeling mad at yourself for it. Theres nothing you can do to change the choice you already made.
Excepting and moving forward has got to be your top priority.
A lot of people have had a hard time understanding me for that reason. For the reason that I forgive and move forward easily (Some people even take advantage of me because of it lol)
I do it mainly because once I fully understand a situation and fully understand how I feel, I don't focus on what he/she did anymore. I focus on 'What can I do now to better my life?' If people aren't willing to drop their egos and want to better themselves as well, then unfortunately a lot of the time, I leave them behind. I just don't have room in my brain for such negativity and sadness. When I'm surrounded by it, it hits me hard and therefore I do whatever I can to not put myself in situations that are negative.
I love to love not to hate. I'm not a fighter. I will fight for myself when I need to but otherwise I guess i figure that those that really love me, will come around and will know when they have under estimated me. But when they do under estimate me, I naturally block them out. One of my fav sayings that I live by is "Do unto others as you expect them to do unto you" Treat me with love and respect, and you will get it back. In fact you would probably get smothered in it. That's what gets me into stupid situations like the one I'm in now. Too much love.
But a lot of the time it's out of fear. Something I'm working on lol
Anyways I hope yall are having a fabulous week. Theres a light at the end of every tunnel. Sometimes it may be so faint and sometimes you may not even see it at all. What matters is that you keep believing it's there. Eventually you will find it.
xoxo
Ps. New MARY episode! Please watch! MUAH xo
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Inspired. Day 21
What a remarkable story!
http://www.oprah.com/entertainment/Michael-Ohers-Inspiring-Journey-The-Blind-Side/1
http://www.oprah.com/entertainment/Michael-Ohers-Inspiring-Journey-The-Blind-Side/1
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Days 15-20
Challenges aren't suppose to be easy. There suppose to challenge you. lol
I've dealt with quite a few this week. I am not proud with how I dealt with them so I am now taking a step back and reflecting on what I should of done.
1) I should of started singing when I felt sad.
2) I should of stopped and read my goals out loud.
3) I should of yelled out to the world that My life is more important then your life!
4) I should of realized that even if people don't see it now, ... when I make a difference in this world, they will regret that they gave up on me!
Consistency is key to all successes.
I've dealt with quite a few this week. I am not proud with how I dealt with them so I am now taking a step back and reflecting on what I should of done.
1) I should of started singing when I felt sad.
2) I should of stopped and read my goals out loud.
3) I should of yelled out to the world that My life is more important then your life!
4) I should of realized that even if people don't see it now, ... when I make a difference in this world, they will regret that they gave up on me!
Consistency is key to all successes.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Day 12, 13 and 14 (My weekend)
So on Friday morning I got terribly sick! Couldn't move a muscle in my body and laid on my couch the entire day.
Saturday was pretty much the same thing aha and now it's Sunday and although I forced myself to go to work today, I am now back in bed at 6:30 about to pass out any minute due to exhaustion Lol. I really hope my bod starts feeling stronger soon because I'm falling behind on my marathon training aha.
As for my daily progress... it's been honestly great. Every time I feel vulnerable or distracted by life's stupid issues, I just perform (well sing as I haven't been able to move much aha) and everything is eventually ok :)
I heard a really great quote today that I'm going to share with you... "Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice." -Wayne Dyer
Everything is a choice. Success, happiness, finding love in yourself, who you love, forgiveness, your lifestyle, your goals, and your dreams. You choose your destiny.
We only have one life to live folks. Is fighting with someone or choosing to have anger towards someone really worth your time? Especially if you care about them.
You never know who might not be here with you tomorrow. Cherish all. Be grateful for the time you have together for who knows how long it will last.
xo
Saturday was pretty much the same thing aha and now it's Sunday and although I forced myself to go to work today, I am now back in bed at 6:30 about to pass out any minute due to exhaustion Lol. I really hope my bod starts feeling stronger soon because I'm falling behind on my marathon training aha.
As for my daily progress... it's been honestly great. Every time I feel vulnerable or distracted by life's stupid issues, I just perform (well sing as I haven't been able to move much aha) and everything is eventually ok :)
I heard a really great quote today that I'm going to share with you... "Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice." -Wayne Dyer
Everything is a choice. Success, happiness, finding love in yourself, who you love, forgiveness, your lifestyle, your goals, and your dreams. You choose your destiny.
We only have one life to live folks. Is fighting with someone or choosing to have anger towards someone really worth your time? Especially if you care about them.
You never know who might not be here with you tomorrow. Cherish all. Be grateful for the time you have together for who knows how long it will last.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Day 8, 9, 10, 11 ( my week)
WOW soooo busy this week. aha
LOTs of excitement going on at the Waldorf Astoria... :D
Heres a lil recap:
Monday: Filmed a lot of Mary episodes. If you don't know what Mary is SHAME ON YOU and please view belowwww
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOAvd_tP2X4&feature=channel_video_title
After that I went door knocking with my favourite girl "shortie" and you would be surprised at the amount of people who were willing to give us donations for our charity.
A total of one.
THEN I went back to Stu's house and found myself recording a song that will be posted veryyy soon! Excited about that.
Tuesday: 5am shift, School started, had my first class nap, then I went home. BUT THEn I went to this fabulous place called the Ballroom located right behind much music that has an open mic night every Tuesday with a live band!! So of course I found myself singing Sweet child of mine... again. Fun times
Wed: TWO 3 hour classes. One consisted of a long chat about feminism and if a women who is racist and homophobic can actually be a feminist... haha well obviously that women would be a little hypocritical but really who really cares if she crazily thinks she is?!
Napped in the second class.
Thurs: Started off with an early rise of 6 am to rush and get to class for 8am only for the professor to not even show up. So now I'm at home with a whole day to myself with an open schedule that I never thought I would have.
Oh the many productive things to do...
EXCITING things in the works! Such as the TIFF festival! I have found myself working at the festival this year! Should be fun. I should really look at who will be there and prepare to get my flirt on.
Also working on a new youtube account! A Diary of my life in fact but on tape. Inspired by the youtuber community channel. If you've never watched her vids then I urge you to check them out. Link BELOW
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wO2qaIVsgtQ&feature=channel_video_title
As for news on my progress, I'm doing AMAZINGLY. I'm finding I'm having a lot of fun on my own now.
I should monitor that... I forgot Hermits run in my family. aha
xo
LOTs of excitement going on at the Waldorf Astoria... :D
Heres a lil recap:
Monday: Filmed a lot of Mary episodes. If you don't know what Mary is SHAME ON YOU and please view belowwww
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOAvd_tP2X4&feature=channel_video_title
After that I went door knocking with my favourite girl "shortie" and you would be surprised at the amount of people who were willing to give us donations for our charity.
A total of one.
THEN I went back to Stu's house and found myself recording a song that will be posted veryyy soon! Excited about that.
Tuesday: 5am shift, School started, had my first class nap, then I went home. BUT THEn I went to this fabulous place called the Ballroom located right behind much music that has an open mic night every Tuesday with a live band!! So of course I found myself singing Sweet child of mine... again. Fun times
Wed: TWO 3 hour classes. One consisted of a long chat about feminism and if a women who is racist and homophobic can actually be a feminist... haha well obviously that women would be a little hypocritical but really who really cares if she crazily thinks she is?!
Napped in the second class.
Thurs: Started off with an early rise of 6 am to rush and get to class for 8am only for the professor to not even show up. So now I'm at home with a whole day to myself with an open schedule that I never thought I would have.
Oh the many productive things to do...
EXCITING things in the works! Such as the TIFF festival! I have found myself working at the festival this year! Should be fun. I should really look at who will be there and prepare to get my flirt on.
Also working on a new youtube account! A Diary of my life in fact but on tape. Inspired by the youtuber community channel. If you've never watched her vids then I urge you to check them out. Link BELOW
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wO2qaIVsgtQ&feature=channel_video_title
As for news on my progress, I'm doing AMAZINGLY. I'm finding I'm having a lot of fun on my own now.
I should monitor that... I forgot Hermits run in my family. aha
xo
Sunday, September 4, 2011
NEW Challenge.
Taking out the words "I'm Not" out of my vocabulary. Every time I go to say I'm not I'm going to replace it with "I AM". Any one who catches me saying I'm not I will donate five dollars to a local cause of your choice. Every time I say it.
"Be the Change you wish to see in the world"
xo
"Be the Change you wish to see in the world"
xo
30 day Challenge - Day 7
Hey guys!
Ok so I've been trying to make it my habit that every time I start to loose focus or dwell on a situation or immediate problem I'm having, I first go for a walk to clear my head, but then I watch the movie The Secret. Now if you have never watched the movie the secret then I suggest you GO NOW and watch it aha. The secret teaches you about what is called The Law of Attraction. The Law of Attraction basically states that whatever you put out into the universe, positive or negative thoughts, you get it right back and these thoughts determine your future. Seems pretty simple to understand and a lot of us have been taught this growing up from our parents, but most of us do not take it as seriously as we should if we expect to get the things and dreams we desire. Some of us, like me for example, did not understand the power of my thoughts until I watched this movie. I did not understand how important it is to feel good about what I want. Like with these 30 day journals I started. I stated what I wanted in the beginning, I stated that I want to find happiness within myself. Even though I am in control to how fast this happens to me, blogging about when I was sad and what I have previously gone through, brought back those sad bad feelings, (as I talked about them) and therefore making me not in line with what I want.
It is important to not write about the things I do not want and give my undivided attention to the things I do want. If I am putting out negative thoughts (talking about them, writing about them etc) then I am just reenforcing more of those feelings into my life. So I will no longer write about what it is I'm struggling with. No matter what kind of day I'm having during this process, I am only going to talk about the great things that are happening to me and what I am grateful for. For the remainder of these 30 day journals I'm going to write about what I do want and how each day I'm getting closer and closer to them. I'm going to start painting a picture of my perfect life, perfect friendships and relationships and I'm going to start feeling good about it and acting as if I already have them.
So I leave with this question, What would your perfect life look like?
"You can change your life and you can heal yourself".
"Your the only one who creates your reality". - The Secret
xoxo
Ok so I've been trying to make it my habit that every time I start to loose focus or dwell on a situation or immediate problem I'm having, I first go for a walk to clear my head, but then I watch the movie The Secret. Now if you have never watched the movie the secret then I suggest you GO NOW and watch it aha. The secret teaches you about what is called The Law of Attraction. The Law of Attraction basically states that whatever you put out into the universe, positive or negative thoughts, you get it right back and these thoughts determine your future. Seems pretty simple to understand and a lot of us have been taught this growing up from our parents, but most of us do not take it as seriously as we should if we expect to get the things and dreams we desire. Some of us, like me for example, did not understand the power of my thoughts until I watched this movie. I did not understand how important it is to feel good about what I want. Like with these 30 day journals I started. I stated what I wanted in the beginning, I stated that I want to find happiness within myself. Even though I am in control to how fast this happens to me, blogging about when I was sad and what I have previously gone through, brought back those sad bad feelings, (as I talked about them) and therefore making me not in line with what I want.
It is important to not write about the things I do not want and give my undivided attention to the things I do want. If I am putting out negative thoughts (talking about them, writing about them etc) then I am just reenforcing more of those feelings into my life. So I will no longer write about what it is I'm struggling with. No matter what kind of day I'm having during this process, I am only going to talk about the great things that are happening to me and what I am grateful for. For the remainder of these 30 day journals I'm going to write about what I do want and how each day I'm getting closer and closer to them. I'm going to start painting a picture of my perfect life, perfect friendships and relationships and I'm going to start feeling good about it and acting as if I already have them.
So I leave with this question, What would your perfect life look like?
"You can change your life and you can heal yourself".
"Your the only one who creates your reality". - The Secret
xoxo
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Day 5 +6
Yesterday was an awesome day. I had a very important interview that really helped my career take off and I'm extremely excited to see what's coming next!!!
Nothing much to add today as because my day was so productive, I was left feeling so satisfied aha.
I ended up hanging out with Shawn Desman and Danny Fernandes at 6 degrees last night with a few of my girlfriends and fell madly in love with Danny <3 I can't believe how gorge he is. Male singers are the SEXIEST!!!!
Today I'm suffering with a nice hangover but it was so worth it ahaha. <3
xo
Nothing much to add today as because my day was so productive, I was left feeling so satisfied aha.
I ended up hanging out with Shawn Desman and Danny Fernandes at 6 degrees last night with a few of my girlfriends and fell madly in love with Danny <3 I can't believe how gorge he is. Male singers are the SEXIEST!!!!
Today I'm suffering with a nice hangover but it was so worth it ahaha. <3
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Day 4
I just almost lost focus today. For a second I almost let myself join the pity party but then...I snapped out of it!!! Simple things suddenly make sense to me today. You know I'm one of those people who will just never be happy in life if I don't reach my goals and dreams? It's just who I am and I've known for a while what I have to do to get them but never did it click like it did tonight.
You know I've never been happy in a relationship? ahaaha I'm always unhappy!!!! But not because they aren't good enough but because I'm not happy with myself.
Gotta be happy with yourself before you can ever be happy with someone else.
How many people have told me that and I'm only understanding it NOW lol
I will never be happy till I reach my dreams. So heres to no more bullshit and excuses and a long relationship with my career!!
Until the day I succeed...
Been practising this song all day. The lyrics funny enough don't entirely relate but sort of do in a small small way lol
xo
Amanda Marshall - Birmingham
"Virgil Spencer's got a nineteen-inch Hitachi
And many demons lingering
Friday night he pulled a gun to change the channel
Something that he picked up from the King
His wife remembers well the man she knew
Seems the dreams she had have all turned black and blue
She's wasted years
No time for tears
Cause there's another chance and a someday soon
Shining like the Alabama moon
She's looking for her promised land
Out beyond the lights of
Birmingham"
You know I've never been happy in a relationship? ahaaha I'm always unhappy!!!! But not because they aren't good enough but because I'm not happy with myself.
Gotta be happy with yourself before you can ever be happy with someone else.
How many people have told me that and I'm only understanding it NOW lol
I will never be happy till I reach my dreams. So heres to no more bullshit and excuses and a long relationship with my career!!
Until the day I succeed...
Been practising this song all day. The lyrics funny enough don't entirely relate but sort of do in a small small way lol
xo
Amanda Marshall - Birmingham
"Virgil Spencer's got a nineteen-inch Hitachi
And many demons lingering
Friday night he pulled a gun to change the channel
Something that he picked up from the King
His wife remembers well the man she knew
Seems the dreams she had have all turned black and blue
She's wasted years
No time for tears
Cause there's another chance and a someday soon
Shining like the Alabama moon
She's looking for her promised land
Out beyond the lights of
Birmingham"
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